I keep hearing how 2011 was a rough year for a lot of people, so I’m counting myself lucky that it didn’t seem so bad to me, not bad at all. It was a quiet year of settling happily into a certain kind of life. I’m totally okay with that. I have a feeling 2012 will be more of a big decision kind of year.
In 2011, I spent time creating a happy household with my best friend, making plans for our future together; this next year will be about putting the plans into action. There will be more traveling and yet less uprooting, and probably a lot more expanding of our little bubble of comfort and even more plans. I’m happy to know that our future just keeps growing steadily but not uncomfortably.
My job developed into a career this past year, a career I never thought I’d have or even want, something I’m still not sure about. This year will be about where that is going to take me, what new opportunities will arise. I feel like I’ve learned a lot about what I don’t want, so this year I might have to stop being such a chicken and make decisions towards what I do actually want.
I joined a gym for the first time last spring and actually gained some resolve over the summer, because I don’t make resolutions at the normal time everyone else does. I’ve been going 3-4 times a week ever since, and feel so much better on a regular basis.
What I want for myself this year is based on feelings. I want to feel:
- Accomplished/productive: I want to set and achieve goals for myself, both professionally and personally. Maybe setting goals is what people do right now, but I find I achieve more when I continually set goals and check them off, rather than create a list of things at the beginning of the year and fail to accomplish them. I want to feel proud of what I do on a regular basis.
- Peaceful: I want to relax. Like, seriously, stop thinking so hard. I’m not like my sisters, where I feel like I have to do a million things and get everything done and please everyone. My body is not stressed by that kind of determination. I don’t really get a ton of things done or have a bunch of hobbies. But my brain hurts by caring so much about nothing, by working so hard to force an office-friendly personality, by struggling to feel normal (which only makes me feel worse, obviously). I want to gain peace by letting the little things go, by not giving a shit. I have been so happy this year, but I have not been carefree. I want my day-to-day happiness to be compounded with a feeling of peace.
I am already so in love, both literally and also figuratively in love with my life and where it’s headed. I am so lucky to be this happy, and am excited for this year to put things in motion that could secure an even greater future.
